Videoclip - 11/1/09 of Francis Sisco at high school reunion luncheon at American Bistro Restaurant in Tuckahoe, NY 10707 (including clips of Francis before and after the event. See below for the videoclip, and contact FrancisSisco@aol.com for more info.

Essay #1

"Fabulous Francis" - Column heading

"On Being Fabulous" - Title of this issue's essay

By Francis Sisco

Copyright 2009 F. Sisco

Word count - 721

Text of this article (from Word document - Arial font)

When two people called me "Fabulous Francis" at a recent dinner party, I had to do everything I could to keep my feet on the ground and keep my smile from touching each ear.   It was working!   My decision to be more out-there as a fun-loving female was getting noticed.   Was it the way I sort of curtseyed in my new adorable short aqua flapper-type dress while presenting my guests with a delectable crabmeat appetizer topped with a tangy sauce?   Or was it the cheerfulness in my voice as I asked guests engaging questions and truly listened to what they had to say and understood their feelings?   Maybe they used the term "fabulous" because my new persona was indeed incredible and different than the person they usually see. Whatever it was, it felt outstanding to be called fabulous, and since that evening I've been making a point of living my life in the fabulous lane.   Not only has the feedback from others been amazing but also my inner being seems to be blossoming again, feeling like I felt in my twenties.   The dictionary says "fabulous" is being exceptionally good, superb, and almost impossible to believe.   What a way to live!

In writing this periodic column, I will share with you some of my experiences that are helping me transform my life into one I'm very eager to wake to each morning and stay up with late each night.   If you write to me about what you do in your life to make it fabulous for you, I'll include the tips in my column.   In this magazine, there are many products and services that will help you to make you and your world more fabulous.   Not just fashion, food and festivities but also ways to be smarter, enjoy life more, stretch your dollars, and simplify.   Once you commit to be fabulous, you'll find you will see ways all around you, beckoning for you to grab them.   For now, here is a type of desiderata (remember?   Go placidly amid the noise and haste. ....) of pointers on being fabulous.   Sort of an acronym for ways to help achieve a fabulous state.

F - Free the force within you. Recognize your own powers and let them rip.   Access the force through prayer, meditation, hang-gliding, dancing salsa, reading a mystery, hitting a golf ball, writing a song or whatever makes you enter your own zone of flow.   Sometimes it's as simple as more eyeliner, new hairstyle and a cute outfit.   Other times it's showing more unconditional love in complicated strained relationships.

A - Accentuate your abilities. Take stock, sharpen your best tools and focus your energies on helping others, using the essence of whom you are.

B - Beautify your being. It is important to enhance your appearance, but don't stop there.   Beauty and truth are bedfellows and you should put as much energy on your inner self's truths as your outer showcase.

U -   Understand the unacceptable.   Take down the walls you may have erected to keep out the strange and different from entering your life.   You can learn from lifestyles opposite to yours.

L - Love, love, love.    To be fabulous involves expressing love all over the place.   Be head over heels with not only your partner, children, friends and family but also the tree in your front yard and the boiler in your basement.   Once you start loving everything and appreciating its meaning and belonging, you will find it difficult to be unfair, or prejudiced, or dishonest.

O - Open up to others so that you can allow everyone to share in each other's magic of being human and spiritual at the same time.  

U - Uncover unrealities and explore them with zest because it is in our dreams and fantasies that we find our concrete core.

S - See the spiritual side of many if not most of your activities.   The more you look, the more signs you will see along your path guiding you to the force within you and enveloping those around you.  

Enjoy being fabulous!   And please write to me about it.

____________________

Fabulous Francis is a writer, observer of trends and agent of change.    Contact Francis by email at: FrancisSisco@aol.com and please indicate whether you permit your experiences and opinions to be included in future essays.

Essay #2

"Fabulous Francis" - Column heading

"Bursts of Being Fabulous" - Title of this issue's essay

By Francis Sisco

Copyright 2009 F. Sisco

Word count - ____

This article was published in the "Fabulous and Frugal Magazine" in the Holiday Issue - 2009/2010

The dictionary states that "fabulous" is being exceptionally good, superb and almost impossible to believe." If you missed my last column, please email me to get the full "desiderata," keyed to each letter of "fabulous that is summarized in the next paragraph. Several of you emailed me your thoughts, including a yoga teacher named Nancy and Amy who described why the town of Dobbs Ferry is so fabulous. Amy sees God in many of the residents and says that they "radiate a particular beauty that is unmatched." Mary wrote me about the importance of balance and raved about her acupuncturist, Karen, who helps to develop her spiritual signs and to notice signs.

As a reminder of the Fabulous "desiderata," here's a snapshot:
F - Free the force within you.
A - Accentuate your abilities.
B - Beautify your being.
U - Understand the unacceptable.
L - Love, love, love.
O - Open up to others.
U - Uncover unrealities.
S - See the spiritual side of many
of your activities and appreciate the signs.

Keeping with my promise of relating to you recent experiences that help me to live a fabulous (and yet frugal) life, here are three events in the last several weeks. Each example reinforced my belief that the state of being fabulous is nourished by "bursts." A burst is a positive breakout of the usual action - an activity that stands out and furthers the process of becoming truly fabulous. Bursts help propel us to our next level, and help to sustain the trajectory to overcome setbacks. In their explosions, bursts spread excitement and love to others. Try to place yourself in situations that can give way to bursts.

Burst #1 - Reunion:
The first example event was luncheon party of about 30 high school alumni, some whom I had not seen in over 20 years. I decided to wear a sharp-looking snug satin black and white dress, rather than the expected pants and jacket. Running twenty minutes late, when I arrived most people were standing with drinks in hand, chatting and smiling. As I walked over to my old buddy Lou, he greeted me with a huge grin and a warm hug. As I turned to answer another friend's question, a female friend Susie, who did not recognize me, walked over to Lou and whispered something in his ear. Later, Lou told me she asked him, "Who is that young woman?" thinking that I may be the young wife of one of the guys. We all got a big kick out of that. The knockout dress costs less than $40 on sale at The Dress Barn. The luncheon was under $30. The memories worth a million. This burst led to getting together with several of my old friends in the following weeks, bringing ourselves up to date on the new people we've become and the core spirits we still cherish.

Burst #2 - Internet television show:
My second burst involved appearing on an internet television show called Zedalza.net, hosted by Anthony and Pam. They interviewed me about what led to my fabulous state and the reactions of my family members. Pam, a writer herself, even quoted from my prior Fabulous and Frugal article. Several people called the show, and over 3,300 watched! Several remarked about the cute raspberry sweater with fur color that my friend Matina had given to me. I felt like a celebrity, sharing portions of my life that others find intriguing. I think many of us get so caught up in our everyday miscellaneous mundane meanderings that we don't get to step back and take notice of our achievements and personal progress. Bursts help us to see our true selves better. If you are interested in watching the interview, please email me and I'll give you the link to the video clip on www.VideoVoom.com.

Burst #3 - Black-tie dinner:
The third example illustrates that to experience a burst of being fabulous requires not much more than saying yes, being open to possibility, and perhaps a bit of hutzpa. I enthusiastically accepted an invitation to attend a free black tie dinner engagement at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel in Manhattan. On that Saturday night in February, I was truly feeling fabulous on the outside, in a full-length purple gown with velvet black bolero jacket, both borrowed from my friend Karen, and a fur jacket bought at H&M last month in a fit of indulgence, but just $39.99. I topped the look with sparkly matching earrings and necklace and a string of pearls inherited from my grandmother. During the evening, five strangers came up to me, smiled and said, "You look fabulous!" almost as if scripted by this magazine's publisher. Flying! And I was feeling fabulous on the inside too, not only from feeling youthful and vibrant but also that I came to see and better understand the other very different side of me from long ago, who worked hard and also played too hard at times. That burst was fed by another burst.

Three days earlier, at about noon, I heard my front doorbell chimes at home. I was on a business conference call that I had to finish, and with the speakerphone on, I ran from my home office to the front door. Opening the door, I saw my good friend Karen, grinning and carrying a bundle of clothes - the gowns she was bringing me to try on. I asked her to wait in the living room for the next five minutes while I finished the phone meeting. When I went out of my office, it was as if I entered a fancy boudoir. Eight gowns, of various styles and colors, were hanging in the dining room and living room from the curtain rods of the windows and the sliding door and from the entertainment center bookcases. My heart was racing! A burst of excitement! Not only from the realization that I was gong to be Fabulous Francis at my first real gala event that coming Saturday, but also being the recipient of such a generous favor from a special friend. For an hour, we had exhilarating "girl fun" as I slipped into one gown while taking off the other and handing it to Karen, both of us discussing color, fit, and style. The type of fun that's simple and free, and a harbinger of exponential personal growth as a new person. Then Saturday night came. With too much work to do during the day, right up until 6 pm, I was not able to plan getting ready for evening. Before I knew it I was out of the shower, quickly putting on my make-up at my vanity table, fielding incoming calls, and getting a bit stressed. Then as soon as I put the purple gown over my head, slipped into my heels and turned to the mirror, I became quite relaxed and in control. Paul, who invited me to the ball, called to fill me in on who would be at our corporation's table of ten special guests among 800 guests for the annual event of the prestigious Human Rights Campaign. I smiled about another special friend looking out for me. A burst of being liked.

A quick drive to Manhattan, a fast parking spot, and just a few minutes late, I entered the black-tie throng in the silent auction room. I was relaxed and confident, and with my own self-initiated buzz. Much more in control since not drinking alcohol at all. I complimented Vincent on his colorful bow tie, later to see him seated at our table. I turned around and my corporate friend Laurel was next to me, and Governor David Paterson a few feet away. I gathered us together, asked one of his aides to snap a photo. I even told the Governor about my friend who has the same name but with a double T and since the Governor's election my 5'2" friend has been billing himself as "The L'il Governor" at jazz events at which he sings. The Governor said laughing, "I want to meet him! Please tell David" and I did. What fun to pass around my iphone later on at the dinner table. I was becoming again the very full-of-life fun-loving person I was in my twenties and thirties.

Then, squished in the middle of the hundreds of decked-out people, we all funneled into the Grand Ballroom. As we entered the gorgeous grand room, I got chills up and down my spine as I was struck by the memory of being in the same room at least 25 years ago, as a Price Waterhouse alumnus, for dinner. Back then, I returned to the Waldorf-Astoria in the early hours of the morning after missing the last train from Grand Central. When I was younger, as many of us, I sometimes drank too much. Back then in that room when I returned, I played at a white piano on the stage as a maintenance man swept a broom around me, until 5 am, like in a movie scene. Then, still not sober, I went to my office and fell asleep on the floor, burning my back on the hot radiator. How crazy and irresponsible back then. Now, so completely different. I am now high on life not alcohol and much more in control, thanks in part to an event leading me to face my life issues and how I was dealing with them. More in a future column.

The presentations in the Grand Ballroom were superb with Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, Senator Charles Schumer, Sarah Jessica Parker, Bebe Neuwirth, and the transgender performer Peppermint who moderated magnificently the live auction.

I joined several people from my table at the after-hours party on the 18th floor in the Starlight Room. As I entered the room, I felt the same spine vibrations. The same room I was also in for cocktails with Price Waterhouse alumni twenty-five years ago! As I walked around in my beautiful gown, borrowed from Karen (talk about frugal!), I felt so different from the young CPA I was then. As I danced with a friend while Peppermint performed several upbeat songs from her new CD, I glanced at the group of young men next to me. They were ribbing each other, and a bit loud. My eyes connected with a guy, about 30, who reminded me of myself back then (similar height, same short thick wavy hair, comparable smile). As I saw him carry on with his friends, and with me, I felt as if I was watching myself in my own past. Very eerie, yet satisfying at the same time. I reflected on how life takes amazing turns, with signs along the way giving us the guidance to continue on the path or embark on a new one. Standing on line at the coat-check for my fur jacket when leaving, I talked with Eric, in his late thirties, about the fun evening. When he gave me his card, I was surprised to see he was employed by my ex-employer Price Waterhouse. Coincidence?

Despite getting to bed after 2am, I made it on time to my church's 9:30 a.m. mass, not even tired. I sat next to a woman I met at a joint event of two non-profit organizations (OutProfessionals and The Loft), the previous week. Joyce confided that she saw my first essay in "Fabulous and Frugal" and felt comfortable enough to share that she was unsatisfied with her current churches and would give mine a try. After service, I attended the coffee hour with her and was elected a vestry member. Another burst, more feelings of belonging to yet another important community. Fabulous!

Another connecting event happened two days later while reading poetry as a volunteer to a group of nursing home residents in Rye. As I asked the names of residents, aides and guests, the man immediately to my left happened to be the father of one of the guys I was kidding with in the scene 25 years ago in the Waldorf's Starlight Room. You know you are onto something when several ah-ha moments happen often in a short span of time.

The message? After committing to becoming fabulous, set up bursts in your life to help you achieve the fabulous state. Get invited to an event outside of your usual activities. Dress up special, ideally with the clothes of friends. See how the present and past are closely connected, and uncover the deeper spiritual meaning. Let each burst heighten your being fabulous and help to spread love to others around you. Be happy!

____________________

Fabulous Francis is a writer, observer of trends and agent of change. Contact Francis by email at: FrancisSisco@aol.com and please indicate whether you permit your experiences and opinions to be included in future essays.

Essay #3

Column # 1

"In Transition" - Column heading (Column yet to be published)

"In Transition - The Larger Context " - Title of this issue's essay

By Francis Sisco

Copyright 2010 F. Sisco

Word count - 1,363

For more info, call cell 914.589.1013

My friend David is the executive director of an LGBT organization.   He had read two of my essays about transitioning from male to female, and offered to publish a periodic column written by me in his center's newsletter. The column would be a new series of my essays about transitioning.   When David said that, it struck me that publishing my thoughts about my transitioning would help me to engage other people and that could be quite positive for me.   In the overview, I'd write about changing from Frank, an aging male who is left-brained over-analytical, often too assertive and competitive and wants to compartmentalize and control life to Francis, a younger female whose sensitive and caring nature helps me to listen and get along better and whose right-brain attitude keeps me in the present, energized with a high dose of creativity and zest for life's diversity and surprises.   Also, I thought I could write about my adventures of getting accustomed to living as a girl, including the funny and exhilarating moments and also the emotionally jarring situations with loved ones who are faced with me in a new persona, with a restructuring of my usual roles.   How was it for my wife as her husband?   Or for my daughter as her father?   What about my best friend?   Or my clients? Despite the benefits of writing and publishing, I was dragging my feet.   Weeks passed.   Then I realized why. Something was missing.   I write best when I'm in a state of flow, inspired by something that stirs my soul, gives me goose-bumps, makes me smile.   Evidently, that had not yet happened.   And then came a sequence of four bursts of soul-stirring within a twenty-four-hour period that got me to write this essay and realize what my transitioning was teaching me on a higher level.

The first burst came on Sunday morning as I stood in front of a church congregation, as Francis, reading from the Old Testament.   Accepted for who I am and who I am becoming.   For over a year, the church members have been relating to me as a woman, facilitating my transition.   Were they so accepting because they too were in transition of one sort or another?   New job, different business, changes in key relationships.   My transition on the surface seems major but perhaps is minor compared to what others are going through. I must remember it's really not about me.   I must listen to what they say about their lives.

Two hours later I received as my second burst a generous gift from my wife, who usually shies away from being around me when I'm dressed as a female.   However, this time she acquiesced to my request that she give me feedback about which of my outfits to wear in job interviews.   Like a dream come true, I put on a dress, and in full makeup, wig and heels, I then sauntered into her bedroom for the critique.   After receiving her input, I'd leave her room, change in mine, and then enter her room again, this time with a fancier dress, or a skirt and blouse, then a different blouse, and on and on.   She offered, "Yes, that looks fine," or "I don't think it's businesslike enough." or "That looks very good, but you may draw too much attention."    To me, her comments were an acceptance of me being a woman, and trying to be the best one I could be.   Perhaps no time in our long marriage had she told me anything that more enhanced my self-esteem or made me feel more complete, as during those forty-five minutes.   Yet as gratifying as it was for me, I got to face the fact that it has been difficult for her, almost like a zero sum game. Every step gained by Francis is lost by Frank. In my transition, my wife is losing the me she's known for many years, and I need to appreciate her feelings and her dilemma.   Getting to focus outside of myself, leads me to inquire of others. In your transition, who is a participant in your zero sum game?

The third burst of realization about the meaning of my transition in my life came on Monday morning as I sat in the stately conference room of a personnel placement firm, waiting for Dana, the smart and vivacious search consultant, to come in to interview me for 30 minutes.   After filling out the registration form, and before Dana entered, I glanced down at my crossed legs, first at my bare knees, then my dress four inches higher.   My eyes moved down my tan legs to my open-toed high heels and toes painted pink. I smiled to myself that my transitioning into Francis, my female persona, is finally flowering.   I'm really living in the world as a girl, my lifelong ambition.   In my financial advisory business, I will continue serving my clients, hopefully with more clients now as Francis instead of as Frank, often in evening meetings and on weekends.   In addition, I hope to become an executive assistant in the financial services industry, in the mode of a traditional female, answerting phones and typing included.   I so much yearn to explore my feminine side that I am willing to trade off several higher-paying hours as Frank for lower-paying hours as Francis.   Eventually, I believe as Francis I will advance with much more financial success that I ever attained as Frank because I will be in closer sync with my soul, closer to who I really am, and I will function at a much higher vibration.   And so as Dana and I talked about specific work goals and life in general, I turned philosophical at times but refreshingly succinct about what I want from a job.   I heard myself talking about serving others, helping in a team, being as altruistic as possible.   Less concerned about myself and more about others.   When I returned to my home office, in the middle of doing analytical work for clients, I stopped and mused about the morning with Dana. She was like a God-send.   I then got up from my chair, went into my other office and looked above the door, up at the dramatic print of Jesus I bought last week at the church auction with my daughter, Kelly.   I exclaimed aloud to the print, "Thank you, Lord!"   Realization 3 - Transitions don't happen in vacuums.   They are assisted by other people, and perhaps even by the divine.

The fourth burst of inspiration about transitioning came that evening in a song from the adjacent living room.   Kelly was playing piano for the song "Prayer of St. Francis," with Scott, her piano instructor, listening and providing chords for the sheet music.   The lyrics starting streaming into my mind:   "Make me a channel of your peace, where there is hatred let me bring your love," and later in the refrain, "O, Master, grant that I may never seek so much to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love, with all my soul."   As the song shook me, I went into the living room and stood behind Kelly as she played.   Without seeing me, she said, "Dad, you are crying. It's okay." The words of this song helped me to appreciate an important aspect of my transition from Frank to Francis.   It's not about me receiving but rather about me giving.   It's not really about everyone else understanding me but rather about whom I can try to understand, whom I can try to help, whom I can love.   My transition, I pray, will empower me to focus more on the transitions other people are experiencing and how my enhanced understanding and heightened sensitivity, now as Francis, can perhaps help them.   My transition may in fact be my next calling.   Time will tell.   Perhaps, your own transition, no matter what it is, represents your calling, too.  

Please email me your thoughts at FrancisSisco@aol.com so they can be shared with the readers of this column.

Essay #4

Column # 2

"In Transition" - Column heading (Column yet to be published)

"In Transition - The Job of My Life"

10/9/10

Copyright 2010 Francis Sisco

A periodic column by Francis Sisco

For more info, call cell 914.589.1013

Number of words - 1,998

When I volunteered to help all day long at the "Out to Work LGBT Job Fair" in August at the LGBT Community Center in Greenwich Village, I had occasion to interact with several attendees and other volunteers, sharing views not only about work but about life.   The interaction helped me to focus on my own transition of genders and how this transition is so tightly tied with other transitions in my life, including work.   Talking with others, I've realized that not only does a job change (even losing one) creates new opportunities to change the rest of your life but also a change in how you are living your life can lead to significant changes in what you do for a living. Perhaps my own thinking-it-through has some universal elements that may help you in your own job change, or whatever transition for that matter, and whether you are straight, gay, trans or all or none of these.

In my last column I explained some of the reasons why I'm seeking a "job job" as a female salaried sales assistant, or executive assistant.   A 9 to 5 or 8 to 6 serious position as an employee in a large or mid-sized corporation.   Currently I'm a self-employed financial advisor and, living about half of the time as a man and half of the time as a woman. (Sometimes, I change clothes three times in a day to fit the gender perceived by a particular client)    I realize I will be trading down my earnings on several hours as a lower-paid employee than I currently earn as a self-employed person but I'm figuring that the enhanced quality of life as a near-full-time female assistant will be well worth the reduced money.   I will still continue serving my existing clients, mostly in the evenings and on weekends, but now always female instead of splitting my time between two genders.  

The Out to Work LGBT Job Fair this year was a success even though it was not as well attended as the prior year, despite similar marketing efforts by the co-sponsors, the LGBT Community Center and by the Greenwich Village Chelsea Chamber of Commerce.   Scores of employers and hundreds of attendees seem to actively engage each other in meaningful conversations and share information, perhaps even more personally and effectively given the smaller number of attendees.   The conversations on both floors of the center appeared to be longer and deeper.   I helped at the table for OutProfessionals, the nation's leading gay and lesbian networking organization. One young transgender man said several family members are having difficulty accepting his gender expression, but he is still hopeful over time he will transition effectively within his family and at work.   Several disabled individuals shared their positive experience with a nonprofit organization that helps find jobs for persons who are challenged by physical or mental limitations.   Many people talked about their particular circumstances and shared ideas on how best to find job opportunities.   Positivity permeated.

Here are some of my observations and reflections and possibly where it's leading, organized in 3 steps:

Step #1.   Who am I?

This is the crucial question to start with.   For me, the answer is closely tied with gender and I'm getting closer.   As I'm spending more time as a female, I'm getting to more fully explore my female side (Francis), and preferring that side.   My male side, as Frank, has been relatively sensitive and caring and decent at relationships, but less focused and consistent than my female Francis.   As a male, even when serving clients and looking out for their best interests, I often would take too assertive a stance about my recommended strategies, not really listening to the client's desire not to follow a particular strategy I suggested, at least for now.   Sometimes, I would cite particular laws or statistics or even bring up my past achievements or creative ideas as a way to possibly win approval.   Of course, in the end, clients don't really care how much you know but rather really know how much you care.    Work life for me is different as a female.   With clients who know me as a woman, I more easily and naturally communicate my opinions and it seems rarely meet resistance.  It almost seems that female Francis is more respected than male Frank, and more actions result for clients, no matter their own sexuality or gender.   Important financial decisions are made. File tax returns. Relocate.   Start businesses. Make investments. Obtain insurance. Refinance mortgages.

A year ago at the last job fair, I committed to myself to come out more to those long-standing clients who knew me as Frank, and when taking on new clients to only do so as Francis.   For the most part, I've done that.   In fact even the clients I originally thought would have difficulty accepted me as a female, have been not just tolerant but very supportive.   One 82-year old client, touching her chest, said, "it's what's in here that counts not what's on here." Another client called me "beautiful."   A handful said Francis actually glowed.   I never got these reactions from people before about my male side.   Several have encouraged me to spend all my time as Francis not only with them but also with my family and friends.   Heartwarming stuff.   I recognize there will be many challenges in choosing to live full-time as a female, but it does not change my bottom line view - that I want to be a woman, at least at this point in my life, and as a woman I can be effective in serving clients and helping people, and in turn providing for my family.   Secondly, I am a helper of people, and for many years in the financial services industry I've helped hundreds and got joy in doing so.   I should continue to do so, only better.   And as a woman.

For you, come to terms with who you really are.   If you think you have to hide your real attitudes, opinions and traits from an employer (or group of customers), then the situation is probably not right.   Let yourself show, then shine.   Live full-out and out fully.   And I don't mean just sexuality or gender.   If you are about doing right for others, then don't work for a company that manipulates or cheats.   If you are about using your skills and acumen to their fullest, then don't settle for a do-little dead-end job.   If you are about changing the world with your ideas, then don't give up on starting the business you've dreamed about for years.   Come up with a practical doable plan and involve other people.   Be yourself - the yourself you are now and the yourself you dream you will become.

Step #2 - What do I want from a job?

Because I've been in several businesses, spanning various industries, and because I've worn various hats over the years, my feelings are conflicted about what I hope to get from a job.   Certainly, I want to be in a position to help people to improve their lives.   And certainly, I want to use my skills in such a way to bring extra value to the enterprise or the situation.   And to earn money to live comfortably and have a financially secure future.   But literally millions of jobs could do that.   So how do I filter them to arrive at the "ideal job" and to seek that and perhaps compromise at something close to it?  

As a baby boomer, I cannot take significant financial risks, and so I should stay in the financial services industry that I know so well and where my skills are so needed, and not jump into a new field that may have an expensive and steep learning curve.   Okay - Finance.   As a woman, my current role as financial advisor and CPA is quite suitable because clients actually seek out female professionals who are good listeners and who take extra time to understand their needs.   Okay - Female financial advisor and CPA.   Now, should I be self-employed or employed by others?   For decades I've been self-employed.   I've no doubt positively impacted hundreds of clients' lives, but what about co-workers, what about others in an organization.   Not really.   I've missed that.   Also, as a self-employed professional, I have been responsible for most, perhaps too many, aspects of production, from marketing to client relationships to implementation to follow-up and monitoring, and all the related supporting functions.   Perhaps my A.D.D. leanings have been enflamed by the requirement of multi-tasking so much. And so, at this point in my life, I want to more narrowly focus my own efforts within a much larger context.   And to do so where I willing be working with others and for others.   One example I envision is as a sales assistant helping a small team of high-level producers within a mid-sized or large investment firm, like a reputable hedge fund or investment management company.   I can help not only with handling client service and making the processing of new accounts and transactions much more efficient and smoother, but also I think I can be delegated some of the advisory services too, enabling the producers to work on more complicated cases.   Another possible example is as an executive assistant within a large organization that is striving to be better at recognizing and tapping the power of diversity.   As an effective transgender woman I can show first hand how the organization not only accepts but also actually promotes diversity.   And in these positions I can be interacting with and serving a greater number of individuals than at present.   And my transition itself can be inspirational to others, in addition to improving the quality of my own life.

The analysis of what you want from a job can use similar considerations as mine.   Industry. Skills needed.   Possible effectiveness within the position. Personal value proposition - how can you help them.   You will identify several possible positions from the first filter.   Then change the industry and do some lateral thinking, emphasizing a different set of skills you have, or another passion.   Then explore those positions as well.

Step #3 - What is wanted of me?

It's important to believe that you are special and a valued part of a much larger whole, and that you have a responsibility to contribute.   Life's truly a give and take. Take what you need and give what you can, mindful of a grander view.

I happen to have a deep faith in God and I actually feel God's presence in so many areas of my life.   In fact, I believe God has a role in my current phase of transition.   For you, pray for signs and pray for direction, and you will see them appear, sometimes remarkably quick.   But if you question God's personal involvement, I suggest asking yourself what does the universe, or world, or country, or state, or community, or family, or you yourself want from you.   Life is too short to not ask.   And when you ask you will receive an answer about your next phase.   The next job for you may bring a very meaningful and vibrant change in your life that the "who you are and "what you do" will meet in a awesome way.   I'm feeling a surge of power within me calling me to be positive about the next change in my life that is sure to come, is sure to not only enhance my life but also those whom I touch.   I pray that you too feel that same power and that you enter the next job of your life - living life fully.

Please email me your thoughts at FrancisSisco@aol.com so they can be shared with the readers of this column.